Grandparenting & Parenting

Good morning!
Take your time reading this one. Thank you in advance.  I will not write this length anymore.  I just hd to tell it all.
 
It is 5:35am and I could not rest any longer.  I wanted to share my experience for this weekend.
Initially I wanted to share something else but, I FEEL I must share this instead. Of course I had to wake my daughter to ask her how to turn on the computer. She said, I am so proud that you want to do your Blog but mommie if you wake me up I cannot go back to sleep.  I felt anxious to get started and I am a Senior as I forstated. That is no excuse to be inconsiderate but I guess I was. I can type but I am not technologically savvy. My sister is and she has always been. I am proud of her. My first instinct was to stop but I remembered I am Painting a New Picture With Words and I must go on without any fear and this is the time when they are not getting their school work.  My grandson is in Virtual School and my daughter is studying for her Doctorate. We have been through some learning experiences last year and this year as well. ("For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind," 2 Timothy 1:7). This has sustained us. Some people call it pride but No, it is this verse. Now to continue:

I had my cell phone in my pocket and I honestly believe that on Wednesday my grandson put a snowball
in my pocket and as it melted it damaged my phone. Needless to say when I asked him did he do that he answered "No Mom"(that is what he calls me). I laughed to myself.  I did not tell his mother because she would have been too through. She had given me a Verizon prepaid cell phone last February and it was my pride and joy. I don't keep-up with a lot of things but I loved my phone. When I would get ready to complain about something I would say but "I love my phone."  My grandson wanted to throw snowballs and after he threw one on himself I asked why had he done that.  He answered, he did not have anyone else to throw one on. I concluded no but you put one in my pocket.  I thought to myself, we are funny, and if you do not know us, you too would call us strange, which most people do.

On Saturday, my grandson (9yrs) old showed me how to go from one prompt to another on the phone (which I did not know). He showed me a feature of how to retrieve my calls if my phone is lost, damaged or stolen, especially after we had gone to the Verizon store and they could not help me because the snow damaged my phone and the screen would not display properly.  I said WOW, this is great! All of my calls were retrieved!  Does your phone have this feature? Well, if not, "A Hint to The Wise Is Sufficient". I am learning to be totally savvy with the new technical products.  I can text now and I am writing my own blog, especially since I stopped calling it blob! Gosh, Go Figure!



I started out to tell you about my grandson. When he was in nursery school (age 3) he did not understand why he could not have all the toys because he was accustomed to having his own here at home. He had to leave the Nursery school after he told us that one of the teachers had struck his hand, of course it was suggested by the director that he not return to the school if my daugther believed he was struck.  Everywhere we went in town that day, my grandson told everyone his teacher hit him in school.  Now, whom do you think I believed? 

When my grandson started to Elementary school (age 5), (he had never sat in a car without a seat belt before) he rode the school bus and guess what they said happened?  He would not stay in his seat. Therefore, the driver put him on the back seat of the bus.  Now what do you think happened?  My mind reflected to the time when African Americans had to ride in the back of the bus. I was livid.  I felt this was some kind of retribution.  A 5 year old on a large school bus with 8 other children, none of whom he knew, and he was on the very back seat which spanned across the door?  A meeting was held with the school principal and bus director.  We began to drive him and we thought this school matter had been resolved.

He came home one day and asked us what did stupid mean? I tried to regain my breath as I asked him why did he ask? He answered that a little kid called him a jerk and said he was stupid.  I stated "w-what?"  I answered "let us get the dictionary and see what it means. The American Heritage Dictionary states that Stupid means 'slow to apprehend; Showing a lack of sense or intelligence' and jerk means 'stupid person'."  He said "if it's in the dictionary why don't we say it?" I explainded that at home we do not call each other names ;we never have and we never will. I really thought maybe since my daughter left him in my care daily perhaps I HAD not trained him with the up-to-date training. Remember now, I am a Senior and even though I am a late bearing parent I would not allow my daughter to use words like stupid, dumb, ugly. or any words with negative connotations.  If I could give praise I would not say anything. I am not trying to tell anyone how to raise their children. I am a Senior, this today is my Blog and unless I am in some violation for discussing my phone's name I am Painting my Own Picture With Words, but, if by some chance it will help anyone I will be so pleased.

Do not raise your children with criticisms; then there will be no bullying going on in the Home, School or Church. If you raised your child not to fight and he goes to Church and other kids knock him down, the very place you think he should avoid confrontation, what do you do? Well, I just believe that something is wrong.  Why subject them or yourself to trauma drama?  No.  We were told how spoiled my grandson was but you see, every child and adult needs to be a little spoiled if that be the case. I call it love. The thing I do not wrap my hands around is when one adult says something negative about your child and another adult will chime in and say that person is right and do not have any knowledge of you or your child. Believe your child and they will always come to you first if that rapport exits between you.  There will not be any reason for your child to lie to you in the first place and if the rapport is there you will know because you are raising up your child the way he/she go and when they grow up they will not depart from that. 

I did not raise my daughter with what she could or could not do . We tried to explain the consquences that could arise if she did this, that, or the other.  We did not want her to grow up believing she could not do something because everything was wrong. Firstly, we taught her with Godly principles and my grandson,  I actually almost cried. At an early age my daughter came home from school and said all the kids laughed at her because she had said "yes mam" to her teacher.  That day I relented.  Now some of our children say "yep" or "nope" to adults, including my grandson.  I wanted to correct my grandson this weekend when he said "nope" to a senior, but my daughter said not to have him use "mam" and when she hears him say "nope" or "yep"he will write it a thousand times or he will not play his DS. 

Now here I go again.  I volunteered at the school when my daughter was little.  The Guidance Counselor asked me one day was she my daughter I said "yes."  She answered "may I tell you something?"  I said "yes."  She said "if that little girl wasn't as strong as she is you would have to have her under psychiatric care because the kids give her a fit." I lifted an eyebrow but I waited to hear more.  She said they called her "Ms. Pinky" because of her high voice.  They called her "nerd", "four eyes", "skinny," etc. I thanked her.  When my daughter came home I asked her about it; she asked me not to volunteer anymore.  She told me she didn't want me there fighting her battles.  I promised her I would not. 

You see, the kids had always laughed because I was an older parent with gray hair.  This was her first year in public school as a 8th grader.  Prior to this, all of her schooling was in Private School.  All I am saying is Love your child into being the best that they can be, not to be better than but so that they understand everything/everyone in life has been made for a special purpose. Our children might be indigos or not but all are born with the brilliance of Divine Order.  Don't defend, when you know they are wrong but do not be ashamed to think you have not done a good job raising them. Which is bascially our biggest problem if we really face our own truths.

I think this is why my daughter is an Advocate for Children Rights.  She painted a New Picture with Words.

With Much Love,
Tonnie