I intend to embark on a specific word,
but I must write this way to recollect my thinking as I write I was watching a
movie and since I was young, I would turn away or turn to another channel if
the (“N”) word was used, that is how bad I allowed the word to affect me. I
would cringe if someone else would use the (“N”) word a true story below:
When my daughter was very young,
in fact I had her in my arms; because she had said that she was tired of
walking, we were greeted by a Co-worker of mine as she passed us in the Mall.
She said of my little one (Hi precious, you are so pretty,) my daughter
retorted “Shut your mouth you (“N”) you!! I tell you I almost dropped her and I
almost had a Stroke at the same time, I rushed home and I told my Niece (Rhoda)
what had happened, she then said to me “WHY “would you faint?, she hear you say
the word all the time,” I said, Are you serious” “She answered”, yes I am “I
wasn’t even aware that is was a part of my vocabulary especially since I worked
really hard I thought at really trying to phrase words for my daughter’s sake
so that her words would not be Limited in her vocabulary but then I became
aware of just how easy it is to formulate words by force of Habit rather than
Planned. Therefore, I understand how easy it is to allow our Memory Banks to be
filled with idle words and thoughts, there are words that I am very aware of
and after that incident I made it a “Habit” to guard the words that would come
out of my mouth, I safeguard our minds by not using words that define who we
are, Although I am going to write them now I would not teach them to my
daughter or grandson (“N”),(“S”),(“D”),(“U”) now these words I stayed away from
(as she) my daughter, and now my grandson grew up.
Now the words are Ni—a, Ni—er,
Stupid, Dumb, and Ugly. Now, do not believe that they do not know these words
or their meaning but that is why they know because these are words that they
were taught to reframe from using, I have made this article leading up to the
memorial of language. I am going to write about.
I was watching Chadwick’s movies,
then it came to me to watch “42 Jackie Robinson” I said to “SPIRIT”, umhum I
don’t want to watch it I had started to watch it once, but I stopped because
they had called him the (“N”) so many times just from the beginning of the
movie, I said I will not watch this mess, but if you don’t know it let me share
if there is a lesson “SPIRIT” want you to learn you are going to learn it in
other words there are some things in life we will face, I really think it
depends on what you are asking for Guidance on. Needless, to say I was led to
watch the movie again, I had to watch it again, I was still complaining, in an
audible voice it seems as if I had to watch it until the words no longer
mattered.(It is almost riding the Roller Coaster over and over until the fear
is gone) Do you not know I watched the
movie so many times until I can tell you almost every line? Now, why do you think I had to watch it was
because that was how long it took for me not to react to the word Nigger. He
was called Nigga and Nigger approximately 15 times,13 of those times was in
succession(by one the other teams managers) get the movie watch it for
yourself, as he came up to bat, the more I watched the more I dispelled the
word, it was truly amazing how I (FEIT) for him, He was so angry, but the owner
said to him in the movie that he had to win for all of us therefore he could
not openly react to the name calling or the criticisms.
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